About sex

When I was a young adult, I used to think a man must try a lot of different partners to find sexual happiness. It seemed like the natural way to explore, to learn, to experience the full spectrum of what intimacy had to offer. I believed that with enough variety, I would eventually unlock some ultimate understanding of pleasure and connection. It was an idea reinforced by movies, music, and conversations with friends, all pushing the notion that more was better.

I was born in the 70s, a time when attitudes toward sex were shifting rapidly. The echoes of the sexual revolution still lingered, mixing with new cultural influences that made experimentation feel like a rite of passage. I embraced that mindset, chasing experiences, convinced that fulfillment lay somewhere in the next encounter. I thought I was in control, that I was making progress toward some greater truth, but in reality, I was just searching without knowing what I was really looking for.

Over time, I started to realize that no number of partners could fill the gaps I hadn’t even acknowledged in myself. Sex was easy to find, but meaning wasn’t. Some connections were exciting, some were forgettable, but none truly satisfied that deeper need for trust, intimacy, and understanding. I saw friends settle down and thought they were giving up, yet slowly, I began to recognize that they had found something I hadn’t—a sense of peace within a…